MADISON BUTCHKO examines the historical and modern struggles of Chinese women seeking divorce, from the rigid constraints of the Song and Qing Dynasties to today’s legal and social hurdles.
Divorce in China, both past and present, carries heavy cultural, social, and legal weight. From the Song and Qing Dynasties to contemporary China, the ability of women to leave their marriages has been shaped by patriarchal structures, legal restrictions, and evolving social expectations. Understanding the historical context of these frameworks sheds light on the persistence of inequality today and raises important questions about the progress of women’s rights.
The experiences of prominent women like Li Qingzhao, a Song Dynasty poet, and Chen Yun, the wife of the Qing Dynasty writer Shen Fu, demonstrate the severe consequences women faced for pursuing divorce. Their stories provide historical context for understanding the evolving, yet constrained, position of women within marriage.
Li Qingzhao and the Song Dynasty: Class, Power, and Legal Constraints
Li Qingzhao, widely considered one of China’s greatest poets, lived during the Song Dynasty (960-1279), a period known for its scholarly achievements but also for the rigid social structures that defined women’s roles. Li, born into a privileged family, married a prominent official. Yet, her wealth and status did not protect her from the struggles of marriage. When her husband deceived her about his qualifications and social rank, she sued for divorce. However, rather than offering justice, the Song legal system penalized her, sentencing her to two years in prison for suing a higher-ranking family member.
Although Li’s divorce was granted, her story reveals that the legal framework of the time was designed to preserve family honor and male authority. Li’s imprisonment, despite her legitimate grievance, underscores how the legal system disproportionately punished women, even when they were in the right. While her status afforded her some leniency, it ultimately served as a reminder that women’s power was contingent on their relationships to influential men. Women had no true autonomy in these systems, and the consequences of divorce were often severe, ranging from social ostracization to imprisonment.
Chen Yun and the Qing Dynasty: Patriarchy in Full Control
Fast forward to the Qing Dynasty (1644-1912), and the story of Chen Yun (wife) and Shen Fu (husband) offers a glimpse into the even stricter control exerted over women’s marital fate. In their case, it wasn’t the legal system that dictated the terms of their divorce but Shen Fu’s father, who exercised complete control over his son’s marriage. Although Shen Fu and Chen Yun wanted to remain together, Shen’s father ordered Chen Yun to leave. The couple had no legal recourse to fight the expulsion and were eventually exiled, losing their home and children in the process.
This episode highlights a central tenet of marriage during this period: the husband and his family maintained full authority over the wife, and women were utterly powerless to resist. Chen Yun’s story illustrates the extent to which patriarchal norms dictated the course of women’s lives, and any disobedience or failure to meet expectations resulted in swift punishment.
Modern Legal Progress: Real Change or Illusion?
While the rigid patriarchal structures of the Song and Qing Dynasties are no longer officially in place, remnants of these frameworks still influence modern Chinese society. In recent decades, legal reforms have expanded women’s rights, particularly in relation to divorce. Women today can initiate divorce without needing approval from their husband or in-laws, and divorce rates in China have more than doubled in the past decade.
However, this increase in legal rights does not necessarily translate into real social freedom. In practice, Chinese courts often delay divorce proceedings, requiring couples to wait six months before re-filing if a judge denies their initial application. This legal hurdle reflects an underlying belief that women should not easily leave their marriages, even when they are unhappy or being mistreated.
Moreover, despite having the legal right to divorce, women continue to face social pressures that mirror those experienced by women like Li Qingzhao and Chen Yun. Divorced women in China are often viewed as “secondhand” and less desirable, a sentiment that reveals the enduring power of patriarchal values. This cultural stigma forces many women to remain in unhealthy marriages for fear of social ostracization and economic instability.
The Persistence of Social Stigmas
The ongoing struggle of women to escape patriarchal expectations highlights the tension between legal rights and social reality. Women today may no longer be imprisoned or exiled for seeking divorce, but they still face significant challenges, both legal and social. The rise of marriage consultants and “mistress-dispellers” in China exemplifies how, even with legal rights on their side, women are often held responsible for the success or failure of their marriages.
Marriage consultants frequently reinforce traditional gender roles, asking women questions like “Do you nag him?” or “Do you make him feel good?” This framing places the burden of maintaining the marriage squarely on the woman’s shoulders, without addressing the husband’s behavior or responsibility. This echoes the dynamics of Li Qingzhao’s and Chen Yun’s eras, where women were faulted for marital breakdowns, regardless of the husband’s actions.
The Stakes for Women’s Rights
The paradox of divorce in China—the gap between legal progress and social stagnation—raises critical questions about the future of women’s rights. On paper, women are freer than ever to leave unsatisfactory or abusive marriages. Yet the social structures that have controlled women for centuries remain intact, making true autonomy elusive.
This issue matters because it speaks to the broader question of what real freedom looks like for women. Legal changes, while essential, are not sufficient to dismantle deeply rooted patriarchal systems. For women to achieve genuine autonomy, society must move beyond seeing them primarily as wives and mothers, defined by their relationships with men. Until a woman’s worth is measured by her own achievements rather than her husband’s approval, the progress of women’s rights will remain incomplete.
Furthermore, the persistence of these patriarchal frameworks has real-world implications for women’s mental, emotional, and economic well-being. Many women remain trapped in unhappy marriages because of societal expectations or economic dependence, much like their historical counterparts. As divorce rates rise, so too does the need for a cultural shift that acknowledges women’s autonomy and values their freedom to make choices about their own lives.
Ultimately, this issue is not just about divorce but about the broader fight for gender equality. The stakes are high: if society continues to place the burden of marriage and family solely on women, they will remain trapped in a system that denies them full personhood. Real progress requires not just legal reforms but a transformation of social values, so that women can truly exercise their rights and live free from the constraints of patriarchal expectations.
Madison Butchko is a senior at Yale University pursuing a B.S. in Physics and a B.A. in East Asian Studies with a concentration on China. Her research spans topics from Asian American representation in media to examining China’s social issues within its cultural and historical contexts. Originally adopted from China, her personal connection to the country sparked her academic interest, which deepened after briefly serving in the Air Force, where she became intrigued by the geopolitical landscape. Fluent in Chinese and currently learning Japanese, she continues to explore international relations and cultural dynamics in East Asia.
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CITATIONS
Fan, Jiayang, et al. “China’s Mistress-Dispellers.” The New Yorker, 19 June 2017, https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/06/26/chinas-mistress-dispellers.
Egan, Ronald. “Widowhood, Remarriage, Divorce.” The Works of Li Qingzhao, pp. 154-155.
Qingzhao, Li. “A Letter Submitted to Hanlin Academician Qi Chongli.” The Works of Li Qingzhao, pp. 158.
Fu, Shen. Six Records of a Floating Life, pp. 57.